Funny Quotes

If there was an award for laziness, I’d probably send someone to pick it up for me.

see more Funny, Others

I can’t go to bed. sh*t is happening on the internet.

see more Funny, Others

If I woke up from a coma and Channing Tatum told me he was my husband, I wouldn’t question it.

see more Funny, Others

D

see more Fight Club, Funny, Movies, Others

He was full of pep. Must’ve had his grande-latte enema.

Narrator

see more Fight Club, Funny, Movies, Others

Now, a question of etiquette – as I pass, do I give you the ass or the crotch?

Tyler

see more Fight Club, Funny, Movies, Others

Simba: Will you cut that out?


Rafiki: Can’t cut it out. It’ll grow right back!

see more Funny, Movies, Others, The Lion King

Lady, have you got your lions crossed!

Timon

see more Funny, Movies, Others, The Lion King

Zazu: [about Scar] There’s one in every family, sire. Two in mine, actually. And they always manage to ruin special occasions.


Mufasa: What am I going to do with him?


Zazu: He’d make a very handsome throw rug.


Mufasa: [Surprised] Zazu!


Zazu: And just think, whenever he gets dirty, you can take him out and beat him.

see more Funny, Insults, Movies, Others, The Lion King

Zazu: Checking in with the morning report.


Mufasa: Fire away.


Zazu: Well, the buzz from the bees is that the leopards are in a bit of a spot. And the baboons are going ape over this. Of course, the giraffes are acting like they’re above it all. The tick birds are pecking on the elephants. I told the elephants to forget it, but they can’t. The cheetahs are hard up, but I always say, cheetahs never prosper.

see more Funny, Movies, Others, The Lion King

Timon: Gee. He looks blue.


Pumbaa: I’d say brownish-gold.


Timon: No, no, no. I mean he’s depressed.


Pumbaa: Oh.

see more Funny, Movies, Others, The Lion King

Pumbaa: Hey, Timon, ever wonder what those sparkly dots are up there?


Timon: Pumbaa, I don’t wonder; I know.


Pumbaa: Oh, what are they?


Timon: They’re fireflies. Fireflies that, uh… got stuck up on that big bluish-black thing.


Pumbaa: Oh, gee. I always thought they were balls of gas burning billions of miles away.


Timon: Pumbaa, with you, everything’s gas.

see more Funny, Movies, Others, The Lion King

Pumbaa: It’s like my buddy Timon always says: you got to put your behind in your past.


Timon: No, no no. Amateur. Sit down before you hurt yourself. It’s, “You got to put your past behind you.”

see more Advice, Funny, Movies, Others, The Lion King

Pumbaa: It’s our motto.


Young Simba: What’s a motto?


Timon: Nothing. What’s a motto with you?

see more Funny, Movies, Others, The Lion King

Andy: I can’t tell… if it’s an “A sharp” or if it’s a “B flat”!


Mikey: Heh, if you hit the wrong note, we’ll all “B flat!”

see more Funny, Movies, Others, The Goonies

Page 5 of 7« First...34567

Book Quotes

Famous Quotes

Friendship Quotes

Insults Quotes

Love Quotes

Movies Quotes

Other Quotes

Personal Quotes

Television Quotes