Legally Blonde Quotes

Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people don’t shoot their husbands. They just don’t!

Elle

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So what’s this Vivian got that you don’t have? Three tits?

Paulette

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Paulette: Is she as pretty as you?

Elle: She could use some mascara and some serious highlights, but she’s not completely unfortunate looking.

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He’s engaged! She’s got the six-carat Harry Winston on her bony, unpolished finger.

Elle

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The rules of hair care are simple and finite. Any Cosmo girl would have known.

Elle

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Vivian: Nice costume.

Elle: You too. Except when I dress up as a frigid b*tch, I try not to look so constipated.

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I feel comfortable using legal jargon in everyday life. [someone whistles at her] I object.

Elle

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There’s nothing I love better than a dumb blonde with Daddy’s plastic.

Saleswoman

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Vivian: You know, I’m still shocked that you didn’t give Callahan the alibi.

Elle: It wasn’t my alibi to tell.

Vivian: I know, I thought that was very… classy of you.

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I once had to judge a tighty-whitey contest for Lambda Kappa Pi. Trust me, I can handle anything.

Elle

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Uh. I’m sorry. I just hallucinated.

Elle

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Warner: Hey, well, don’t you look like a walking felony.

Elle: Thanks, you’re so sweet. [sees Elle in her Bunny costume]

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I was first in my class at Princeton, I have an IQ of a hundred and eighty-seven, and it’s been suggested that Stephen Hawking stole his Brief History of Time… from my fourth grade paper.

Aaron

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Whoever said orange was the new pink was seriously disturbed.

Elle

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Warner: You got into Harvard Law?

Elle: What? Like it’s hard?

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