Legally Blonde Quotes

Paulette: Is she as pretty as you?

Elle: She could use some mascara and some serious highlights, but she’s not completely unfortunate looking.

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If you’re going to let one stupid prick ruin your life, you’re not the girl I thought you were.

Professor Stromwell

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Vivian: Nice costume.

Elle: You too. Except when I dress up as a frigid b*tch, I try not to look so constipated.

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No more boring suits or pantyhose. I’m trying to be somebody I’m not.

Elle

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Vivian: You know, I’m still shocked that you didn’t give Callahan the alibi.

Elle: It wasn’t my alibi to tell.

Vivian: I know, I thought that was very… classy of you.

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Oh, my God, the bend and snap works every time!

Maurice

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Warner: Hey, well, don’t you look like a walking felony.

Elle: Thanks, you’re so sweet. [sees Elle in her Bunny costume]

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She told me I look like Britney Spears! Why would she say that if she doesn’t like me?

Elle

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Warner: You got into Harvard Law?

Elle: What? Like it’s hard?

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So what’s a girl to do? He’s a guy who followed his pecker to greener pastures. I’m a middle aged, high school dropout with stretch marks and a fat ass.

Paulette

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All people see when they look at me is blonde hair and big boobs.

Elle

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So what’s this Vivian got that you don’t have? Three tits?

Paulette

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Because I’m not a Vanderbilt, suddenly I’m white trash? I grew up in Bel Air, Warner. Across the street from Aaron Spelling. I think most people would agree that’s a lot better than some stinky old Vanderbilt.

Elle

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The rules of hair care are simple and finite. Any Cosmo girl would have known.

Elle

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But if I’m going to be a partner in a law firm by the time I’m 30, I need a boyfriend who’s not such a complete bonehead.

Elle

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