The Goonies Quotes

Everything. OK! I’ll talk! In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my Uncle Max’s toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog. When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out. But the worst thing I ever done, I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa, and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.

Chunk

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Stef: Wow! Thank you. It’s a real moment. You know your voice is kind of nice when your mouth isn’t screwing it up.


Mouth: Yeah and your looks are kind of pretty. When your face isn’t screwing it up.

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Mouth: George Washington… Abraham Lincoln… Uh, Martin Sheen…


Stef: Martin Sheen?! That’s President Kennedy, you idiot!


Mouth: Yeah? Well, He played Kennedy one time!


Stef: It’s nice to see you’re using your brain!


Mouth: Well, at least I have a brain!

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You smell like phys ed!

Chunk

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Goonies never say die!

Mikey

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Hey, you guys!

Sloth

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Chunk: How’s this?


Mikey: Oh, you idiot! You glued it on upside-down!


Brandon: If God made it that way, you’d all be pissing in your faces!


Chunk: Looks fine to me. [Chunk glued the statue’s penis on upside-down]

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Andy: I can’t tell… if it’s an “A sharp” or if it’s a “B flat”!


Mikey: Heh, if you hit the wrong note, we’ll all “B flat!”

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I’m gonna hit you so hard that when you wake up, your clothes will be out of style!

Brandon

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It’s OK, you’re a Goonie and Goonies always make mistakes. Just don’t make any more.

Mikey

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Chunk: Mikey, Mikey, come on, our parents are worried. It’s dinnertime. Why don’t we go home?


Mikey: Home? What home? In a couple more hours, it ain’t gonna be home anymore. Come on, guys, this is our time. Our last chance to see if there really is any rich stuff. We’ve got to.

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Mrs. Walsh: Pants and shirts go in the… oh, forget about it. Just throw everything into cardboard boxes. Clark, can you really translate all that?


Mouth: For sure, Mrs. Walsh. [to Rosalita, in Spanish] The marijuana goes in the top drawer. The cocaine and speed go in the second drawer. And the heroin goes in the bottom drawer. Always separate the drugs.

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Chunk: Sixteen thirty-two. What is that? A year?


Mouth: No, it’s your top score on Pole Position.

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Mrs. Walsh: This is my supply closet. You’ll find everything you need – brooms, dust pans, insect spray. I would really like the house clean when they tear it down. Clark, can you translate?


Mouth: If you do a bad job you’ll be locked in here with the cockroaches for two weeks without food or water.


Mrs. Walsh: [directed towards mouth] You are so fluent in Spanish. That was so nice of you.


Mouth: “Nice” is my middle name, Mrs. Walsh.

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This is ridiculous. It’s crazy. I feel like I’m babysitting, except I’m not getting paid.

Stef

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