The Goonies Quotes
Chunk: Sixteen thirty-two. What is that? A year?
Mouth: No, it’s your top score on Pole Position.
Everything. OK! I’ll talk! In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my Uncle Max’s toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog. When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out. But the worst thing I ever done, I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa, and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.
Mrs. Walsh: This is my supply closet. You’ll find everything you need – brooms, dust pans, insect spray. I would really like the house clean when they tear it down. Clark, can you translate?
Mouth: If you do a bad job you’ll be locked in here with the cockroaches for two weeks without food or water.
Mrs. Walsh: [directed towards mouth] You are so fluent in Spanish. That was so nice of you.
Mouth: “Nice” is my middle name, Mrs. Walsh.
Mouth: George Washington… Abraham Lincoln… Uh, Martin Sheen…
Stef: Martin Sheen?! That’s President Kennedy, you idiot!
Mouth: Yeah? Well, He played Kennedy one time!
Stef: It’s nice to see you’re using your brain!
Mouth: Well, at least I have a brain!
This is ridiculous. It’s crazy. I feel like I’m babysitting, except I’m not getting paid.
Stef: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, stop, stop! You can’t do this.
Stef: Because these are somebody else’s wishes. They’re somebody else’s dreams.
Mouth: Yeah, but you know what? This one, this one right here. This was my dream, my wish. And it didn’t come true. So I’m taking it back. I’m taking them all back.
Data: [in Chinese] That’s okay, Daddy. You can’t hug a photograph.
Mr. Wang: [in Chinese] You are my greatest invention.
Chunk: How’s this?
Mikey: Oh, you idiot! You glued it on upside-down!
Brandon: If God made it that way, you’d all be pissing in your faces!
Chunk: Looks fine to me. [Chunk glued the statue’s penis on upside-down]
What is this, a nuclear Saturday? Come on, guys. This is our last weekend together, our last Goonie weekend. We should be cruising the coast, downin some brews, sniffing some lace, but NOOOO, the one older brother had to go and screw it up by flunking his driver’s test. Don’t know what I’m going to do with you, kid.
Andy: I can’t tell… if it’s an “A sharp” or if it’s a “B flat”!
Mikey: Heh, if you hit the wrong note, we’ll all “B flat!”
Stef: Wow! Thank you. It’s a real moment. You know your voice is kind of nice when your mouth isn’t screwing it up.
Mouth: Yeah and your looks are kind of pretty. When your face isn’t screwing it up.
I’m gonna hit you so hard that when you wake up, your clothes will be out of style!