Quote Mania

Warning: If you are reading this then this warning is for you. Every word you read of this useless fine print is another second off your life. Don’t you have other things to do? Is your life so empty that you honestly can’t think of a better way to spend these moments? Or are you so impressed with authority that you give respect and credence to all that claim it? Do you read everything you’re supposed to read? Do you think everything you’re supposed to think? Buy what you’re told to want? Get out of your apartment. Meet a member of the opposite sex. Stop the excessive shopping and masturbation. Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you’re alive. If you don’t claim your humanity you will become a statistic. You have been warned.

Tyler

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We’re a generation of men raised by women. I’m wondering if another woman is really the answer we need.

Tyler

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Emmett: I can’t believe you just called me a butthead. I don’t think anybody has called me a butthead since the 9th grade. Elle: Maybe not to your face. Insult

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Paulette: Is she as pretty as you?

Elle: She could use some mascara and some serious highlights, but she’s not completely unfortunate looking.

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Vivian: Nice costume.

Elle: You too. Except when I dress up as a frigid b*tch, I try not to look so constipated.

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Vivian: You know, I’m still shocked that you didn’t give Callahan the alibi.

Elle: It wasn’t my alibi to tell.

Vivian: I know, I thought that was very… classy of you.

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Warner: Hey, well, don’t you look like a walking felony.

Elle: Thanks, you’re so sweet. [sees Elle in her Bunny costume]

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Warner: You got into Harvard Law?

Elle: What? Like it’s hard?

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