Woody Allen Quotes

Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.

see more Death, Famous, Funny, Others, Woody Allen

Marriage is the death of hope.

Woody Allen

see more Anti Love, Famous, Love, Marriage, Woody Allen

If you’re not failing every now and again, it’s a sign you’re not doing anything very innovative.

Woody Allen

see more Famous, Inspirational, Others, Woody Allen

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

Woody Allen

see more Famous, Others, Success, Woody Allen

Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.

Woody Allen

see more Famous, Life, Others, Woody Allen

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.

Woody Allen

see more Famous, Life, Others, Woody Allen

The key is, to not think of death as an end, but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.

Woody Allen

see more Death, Famous, Others, Woody Allen

The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don’t have.

Woody Allen

see more Famous, Happiness, Others, Woody Allen

I feel sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it’s fantastic.

see more Famous, Naughty, Others, Woody Allen

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.

see more Famous, Funny, Laughter, Others, Woody Allen

Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.

see more Famous, Funny, Others, Woody Allen

Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?

see more Death, Famous, Funny, Life, Others, Woody Allen

Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, ‘Be fruitful and multiply,’ but not in those words.

see more Famous, Funny, Others, Woody Allen

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