A car is not a bedroom on wheels.

She's not a goddess, she's more the earth mother whore type, which works for me.

So... you're in like with me?

Disco is from hell, okay. And not the cool part of hell with all the murderers, but the lame-ass part with the accountants.

I understand. Everybody wants their first makeout to be special, in some place romantic like Ireland or Disney World.

Cartoons make me horny! Oh, and food!

The three true branches of the government are: military, corporate and Hollywood.

My God, with a car like that, you must be knee-deep in whores.

I am so cold. The snow has stolen my manhood.

I love the snow! I am a winter nymph! I love America!

Responsible people don't go around getting their nipples twisted.

It's about the rules. And without the rules we might as well all be up in a tree flinging our crap at each other, like monkeys!

Leisure suits are for dumbasses. Believe me.

Fez: Oh, I am so excited to be in the food service industry. May I cut the cheese?

Donna: So, what do you guys wanna do when you grow up?

Eric: Um, not touch dead people. Ever.

Jackie: Well, I have a date too.

Kelso: Who is he? What's his name?

Jackie: His name is... not important. What's important is, he's better than you, in every conceivable way.

Kelso: Damn, Jackie, that could be anybody!

What're you gonna put on your resumé? "Dumbass"?

Well, you know, on the way to the market, I tried to run over a cat. But they are just so darn speedy!

Eric, didn't I tell you to wash up for dinner? I know, it's difficult to hear with your head up your ass.

Donna: Excuse me, Jackie, when exactly did you lose your soul?

Jackie: Um, cheerleading camp.

So, my parents are, like, fighting all the time, and they want me to choose sides. But I can't, because they're both idiots.